Almost 2 years

In May, it will be two years since my last perm.  Holy Crap!  I am no longer caring for my hair myself and I am getting it pressed.  I just don't like the kinky look on me.  However, I have reached a point where I may have to go back to it because I am growing out of my clothes (I'm not exercising right now. It makes me sweat).

Here is a look at my hair right now. It is nearly arm pit length.  I'm suddenly obsessed with length.  Normally when I get that way, I cut it.  I was planning to get it cut into a bob, but my mother just visited and discouraged it.  My Husband, who is very supportive, even said he thinks I should wait a little longer before getting a cut.  Deep down inside he believes I'll start exercising with him again and it will be harder for me to make a ponytail with a bob.

I know you are thinking, "Why in the heck did she choose these pictures?"  They best show my hair.  I was wine tasting with my Mother and Aunt.  I, of course, was acting a fool and the only pictures that show my hair, also show me doing something silly.

I haven't been wrapping my hair at night.  I've been pin-curling and shockingly, it is far easier and far more comfortable for me.  However, I do end up with the bends you see in the pics.

Adventures In Hair Washing Land

***Stretches arms and cracks knuckles***

I dumped an entire container of gel in the toilet, then I had to fish it out. Yes! This wash day was interesting. Thanks to my pj-ism, I had backup products. Ha!

Due to that mishap, I finally used up something. hooray!!! Just under a year after its purchase, the Bee Mine Curly Butter is gone. I won't buy more. It is a good product, but not worth $20 when I can get something like the loc & twist gel for three bucks (r.i.p, gel. I didn't mean for you to fall in the toilet).

Oh yeah.. I dumped the gel in the toilet by trying to shake out pieces of hair from the container. I didn't realize it had softened up and was no longer "glued" to the container. It was a dumb move and when I heard the splash, I said, "You deserved that."

So I set about 1/4 of my curlformers with curly butter and the rest with Aloe Vera gel.

The rundown:

shampoo: Quantum clarifying & Creme of Nature conditioning and detangling shampoo

condition: Paul Mitchell's The Detangler & Jessicurl Deep Treatment

Detangling: 90 minutes (that's actually good for me at 11-months post relaxer)

Leave-ins (I guess you could call 'em that): Argan Oil and PM Super Skinny Serum

Yeah, I have to walk the dogs in those things. It's pretty sad and embarrassing.

This is how they came out. I think I went too far with the Aloe Vera gel. Next time I'll use less.

I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail to sleep and exercise the next day.  The curls barely survived. I was hurt when I did the day 2 "unveiling."

I had to fix things up:

Day 3 I did plyometrics and had so much sweat that those ragedy curls didn't stand a chance.  I ponytailed it up. LOL!

Side note: When my hair is 100% natural. it won't be curly. It will be NAP... I mean extremely kinky.
What I didn't realize early on when I started working out, is that curlformers help me.  They stretch out that new growth, so that when I sweat my hair is less likely to lock up. So if I can't use the curlformers, I'll have to start blow drying it. 

It's also not very good for me to wash every two weeks. It just didn't work for me. Who knows maybe I'll find a way for it to work in the future.  This Do-It-Yourself haircare is still evolving for me.

Some Things I've Learned Along The Way

I am eleven months post relaxer.  Wow!  I still haven't figured out this hair thing, but I'm still trying.  Here are some pics of my wash/styling session on April 7th. They include Day 1 & Day 2 hair. The set actually lasted three days. Rain and workout sessions killed it. LOL!

Anyway... on to the point of this post. I have learned some things over the past eleven months.  I walked into this do-it-yourself hair journey knowing absolutely nothing. I was a freelance worker and feared that jobs would dry up soon.  The first things that needed to be cut were my expensive trips to the salon, so I had to do my hair myself.

I had been getting my hair done since I was five. I got my first relaxer at 16. I never had a problem with length. I'd probably washed my own hair five times.  I have a curling iron from the 90s and I rarely used it. I don't believe in using additional heat in between visits to the shop. Simply put, caring for my hair was someone else's job. It's why I went to work... to pay them to do it.

I dove blindly into the online hair community and I wanted to become an instant expert. I've never been patient. It's not my thing.  That mindset cost me and my hair. I have had some just plain awful hair days. I wanted to comb out my hair in ten minutes like the girls on YouTube and that's not possible for me. I ended up ripping out hair and causing major breakage. Plus, I purchased lots of products that I thought worked miracles. 

Look at all the crap under my sink. Not a single one of those products worked a miracle. On top of that, I was putting too much stuff in my hair.

I was unrealistic in my thoughts that I could handle my hair exactly like Nina Pruitt, Kimmaytube or Naptrual85 and get the same results. I mean I KNEW this, but I kept trying to ignore it. Yes... I was ignoring common sense.

So now when I stalk my favorite heads of hair on blogs and YouTubes, I do it with a different understanding and acceptance.  I can appreciate the results CurlyNikki gets and know that I'm not going to get them. We have different hair. I'm actually getting better tips from girls with relaxers, even though the hair gurus say treat your hair like it's "natural," if you're transitioning.

At this point, I am going to focus on keeping it simple and trying to figure out a way to get rid of some of that crap under my sink that I don't use. Don't get me wrong, I'll still be trolling the Internet for new ideas. I'm just over the idea of looking for miracles, although curlformers are a miracle for the styling challenged. I love those things. ha! 

18 Weeks Post Relaxer

After my last wash session, all I could do was hide my
head and hug my dog.

Oh.My.Goodness--This entire situation is getting out of control.  Today's detangling session took FOR-ev-ER!  I  really don't know what to do. My hair proved that it would really like to become a dreadlock.  I found lots of big fat knots in the new growth area and they did not want to go.  So of course they took a few innocent by standers with them.  Between the shedding and breakage, I don't know if I'll have anything to transition to.  I know some folks would probably say that I should just cut it off and start from scratch, but I am pretty sure that is not in the cards for me. I don't want to wear a TWA the same way I don't want to wear the Halle Barry look.  That's just not me.

I am trying  to keep my eye on the prize: a decent length of healthy, natural hair for a great twist out. But OMG seeing so many soldiers leaving my head. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I read the blogs and they make it seem like this stuff is a breeze.  It is not. I think I detangled from 5:30p to 8:30p tonight. I was as gentle and patient as I could be and it still was not working out. Maybe what I choose to use as a detangler isn't right for me.  I have to do some more research. I am going to win this battle AND find a way to do something else on Sat besides just do my hair. Lord, I'm tired after I battle that stuff.

My Curlformer Story Ain't No Fairytale

Ok.. since my last writing, I tried my beloved curlformers and lets just say they worked and didn't work.  I ripped out two big chunks of hair and I put waaay too much product in them, which meant my hair was nasty.  Since, I paid so much money for them, I figured I better do some more research on them to make them work.

Here's a list of what went wrong with the first session.

1.  I styled my hair the night before an early morning flight to Vegas.

2. My hair takes forever to air dry.  so I decided to blow dry the hair, before placing it in the curlformers. 

3.  Due to impatience, I slapped a lot of coconut oil on my hair with the hope that it would provide the necessary slip to get my hair through the contraptions.  BIG MF PROBLEM!!!  That's how I ripped out  two big chunks of hair.

4. I ran out of curlformers for the front part of my hair.

Sooo with all of that drama layed out for you, here's my plan to recover.

1.  I will get a hooded dryer.

2.  Style my hair when I am not tight for time and I have some patience.

3.  I will re-watch Naptural85's tutorial multiple times before I style.  I think she's on to something and I think it will help me prevent breakage and make the curlformers that I have cover my entire head.

Hairy Assessment

I tried to assess some things after that god awful session.

The first week I did my hair, I thought I made a mistake by doing a braid out on dry hair. 

Now I know that wasn't the case.  I did the right thing.  My hair takes entirely too long to dry and using that curling butter on damp hair is just plain drama.

So what I plan to do is follow some of the same things I did this week.  That includes a thorough washing with lots of lather, deep conditioning immediately after, detangling after the deep conditioner and letting the hair air dry.  I will then put it into a bun, until I do everything I need to do for the day, then I will set the braid out:-)

At this point, it takes me a day-and-a-half to do my hair because it takes so long to dry.  That takes  away time with my husband and makes me uncomfortable in my own appearance.  So I think with this minor tweaking, I should be able to work things out:-)

Also, I think I want to try twisting.  The braid out is kicking my tail---BIG TIME.  Plus, I think it forces me to manipulate the hair more than I think I should be.  I mean REALLY?! After a great detangling session, I basically ripped my hair out trying to do those stupid french braids.  ugh!

Back To Hair

I thought I was finally making some much needed progress on the Do-it-yourself hair, but I was wrong.  Here's the long version of the story. I wrote it all up on wash day. I was so optimistic... and so wrong.

There's a strange chance I may be on to something this time around.  I had to take a moment to type up everything I did.  I hope I can replicate it.  Of course, I'm saying this before I even get to the styling portion.  BUT I'm just so freaking excited that the detangling process was a breeze.

Before getting in the shower, I sprayed my hair down with the Silken Child detangling leave in conditioner.  I let it stay on my hair maybe five minutes. I'm not sure because I wasn't really paying attention.  I was just trying this to be goofy.  Anyways when the water hit my hair, my hair was soft.  Normally it feels raggedy because I'm coming straight out of the braid out situation.

Next I shampooed one half of my head, pinned it up then tacked the other side.  I let the shampoo sit on there a few seconds then I rinsed out each side and washed again.  I got a really good lather on the second washing and left it on there for a full three minutes (I mean I counted out, 'one one-thousand...').  I'm starting to think this particular shampoo may not be best for me because it makes my hair a bit dry and tangled, but at least it got my hair clean this time.

Once I thoroughly rinsed out all of the shampoo, I applied a HEALTHY  amount of my deep conditioner to each half.  I stuffed it under two plastic bags and let it sit for a little over an hour while I chatted with my mother.  When I hopped back in the shower and rinsed the conditioner out, my hair felt soft, moisturized and DETANGLED.  I split each half into a fourth, which left me four sections.  Next, I used my wide toothed comb to gently detangle each section and braid. 

Before getting out of the shower I squeezed each section to try to get some of the water out.  Then I used a white tee-shirt to blot each section.  I sat for about ten minutes before I slathered on some Kinky Curly Leave-in. I pinned each section up, while I came to type this up.  Once I'm done with this, I'll hop in there and seal in the leave-in with some coconut oil.  I'll let it dry some more then I'll tackle the styling part.  I'm so hoping this is my break through.

It could be odd since I'm almost out of my shampoo and conditioner.  Yikes!

(I should add that even though I feel I got a good wash. My scalp doesn't feel the best.  It was a little itchy, but now it's feeling a bit better.  I don't know.  I'll re-visit this issue later.)

Update:
OMG!  I thought everything was going great.  My hair was looking shiny and detangled, then I put on all my crap for the braid out and it got tangled again and I couldn't french-braid it.  I know I'm tired and I probably should have waited until tomorrow to set my hair because I was mean and brutal to my hair.  I feel so bad about it.  I left a lot of soldiers on the floor.  I just pray that I've mastered the washing part and maybe, I'll begin to master the styling part.  I think I'm over the stupid braids! I think I'm going to buy some magnetic rollers and work on a roller-set.

I think I'm hurting my hair more than helping and I'm really disappointed.  I wanted to help my hair. NOT kill it.  The whole purpose of this journey was to save money and nurse MYSELF back to healthy hair, until I could afford to pay someone to help me.  This really just sucks:-(