Oh Snap!

Oh Snap!  I am a hot mess.  My forehead is breaking out like mad and my hairline is receding.  I am almost 31 years old. I don't know why I am going through an ugly mix of menopause and puberty all at once.  Of course I don't think I'm experiencing the hormonal imbalances that comes with those two awful times in life, but I'm certainly suffering from the external issues.  Soooo, I'll break it down: puberty + menopause = ugly!

Yikes and Yikes is all I can say about those pictures.  So, since I'll have a lot of time on my hands in the near future, I've decided to focus on bringing back my pretty.  I mean if Justin can bring sexy back, I should at least be able to muster up a cute.

As you can see from this performance, it even took some work for Justin to get the job done.  I've got some things I need to do.  It begins with vitamins and ends with waxying.  Did you see my eyebrows in that picture?  Wow!

Anyways, I am just a week from taking on my first and biggest challenge--- doing my own hair.  For some people, this may seem stupid and simple.  For me, it's a big deal.  I've already gotten most of the stuff on my list.  Now all I need is some plastic caps, coconut oil, olive oil and a spray bottle.  I'm sure I will look a hot mess the first time I do this, but whatever.  This is what I need to do to begin snapping some life back into myself.

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

When reality tv is done right, it can entertain you and introduce you to new worlds.  I think 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' does just that. Heck, I didn't even realize the gypsy lifestyle was real.  I thought it was a myth and I thought 'gypsies' were a tan colored people.  I had no idea they could be Irish. (I know to some people that will sound like an ignorant comment, but hey, I'm just telling you my thoughts.)  This show is crazy.  I'm only one episode in and I am hooked.

THE WEDDINGS!

They are OSTENTATIOUS.  In fact, I'm not sure that word is strong enough to describe how gaudy and outlandish these weddings are. To my Black American eye, they are Jersey-Shore-gone-too-far.  They wear huge bejeweled tiaras that are reminiscent of the crowns girls wear in rediculous beauty pagents.  On the bottom, their dresses look like something a Disney princess would wear.  On the top, they are boobs and jewels.  I mean they really look like something Ice-T's wife would wear.

Most of the clothes the girls wear are, for lack of a better term, hoochie momma-ish, which is odd for such an old-fashioned group.  Most of them are devout catholics and they believe steadfastly in family.  Couples are married in their teens, the women are housewives and the men take care of the families.

THE LIFE

The life is just so foreign to me in 2011.  It's not because they live in Europe and I live in the United States.  One girl featured on the show stopped going to school at the age of 11.  She admitted she can't read or write very well and said there was no need for it.  It stunned me when said everyting she needed to learn was in the house because there was no chance she would ever become a doctor or a lawyer.  That is an odd concept for someone who plans to raise her children to believe that anything is possible.

The women aren't really allowed to make independent decisions once they are married. One of the girls was only 16 when she got hitched and lamented about her loss of youth and independence. 

Courting for them is an even more bizarre matter.  They do something called "grabbing." It looked like the start of a rape.  The guys literally pick out a girl, drag her off and force a "kiss." Some of the boys admitted they don't think the girls actually like this ritual, but said it's part of their culture and no one should judge them.

The Money

No one really knows how much money these people have or how they make it.  They care called Irish Travelers for a reason---they travel a lot.  They don't appear to be wealthy, yet they can afford these over-the-top weddings.  While they may seem tacky to me, I know I couldn't afford the stuff they have.

The Mystery

I am just so intrigued by this culture.  I think it is amazing that they have managed to maintain so much of an "old" culture in this ever changing world. Needless to say, I'll be watching the entire season of this show to see how it will continue to entertain and educate me.  I don't think they are better or worse than me.  In some ways they are the same and in some ways they are different. *shoulder shrug*

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Flat & Perfect

I think I have the flattest feat on earth. When I was a child, it didn't really matter. I wore tennis shoes...gym shoes--whatever it is you call them. They had support and they were comfortable. I scoffed at my mother's attempts to make me a lady. I let her buy me dress shoes and heels, but I put them in the back of the closet and slipped on something more comfortable. 

Of course as I matured, I wanted to look pretty. That meant the gym shoes had to go. The problem was that I absolutely could not walk in heels. They would only stay on my feet if they were too little or had a strap. Grrr!

Well by 2005, there was a solution for me--Mary Janes!! They were back in style with a vengeance and the options seemed limitless. Every shoe I purchased had a strap. It got to the point where people would ask if I owned gym shoes because they never saw me in them. What a change, huh? THIS WAS FANTASTIC...until the options began to decrease and only the REALLY expensive designers produced cute Mary Janes. 

Ugh...whatever. I continued seeking them out.  Well, then I moved to a big city.  My commute to work included a decent walk and standing on the train. My feet did not like the heels for this.  It just wasn't working.  I needed an alternative and felt forced to return to gym shoes. I had to wear my Converse all the time!  I felt like I'd regressed. 

I felt like flat shoes weren't an option for me, even though they are all the rage right now.  Without an incline, my feet look like sacks of potatoes. I remember taking a walk down the beach with my husband before we were married. It was so romantic, until I looked back at our footprints in the sand. His were perfectly arched imprints. Mine were so flat that they looked like they belonged to a duck. 

Soo I didn't want to break my heart by trying out FLAT shoes because my feet are my soft/sensitive spot.  Shoe shopping is exhilarating for me because I LOVE shoes, but trying them on can be quite depressing. The shoes I love the most, never look right on me. 

Anyway, I digress. My mother finally convinced me to give flat shoes a try. Now, I definitely can't wear them with capris..but (ding ding ding) they weren't the worst things ever. I COULD WEAR THEM! I don't have to wear converse low tops all of the time. Thank the Lord. 

My first pair of flats are these cute, black Taharis. I need flats with lots of rubber that hold onto my feet and I need padding for my walks. That means cheap ones won't work on these orthopedic nightmares that I call my feet. NOW I have my eyes set on every pair of Tory Burch flats you can think of, specifically every color of the Eddie Ballet Falts. Too bad I can't get them all at the moment. 

Oh well!  Once again I learned another lesson about trying new things. Unfortunately, I'm still pretty hesitant in life. It's probably why I never got a chance to work on the Oprah show.  I digress again. LOL!   I LOVE FLAT SHOES and my DUCK FEET. These feet always present me with challenges and always remind me about the beauty of imperfections:-)

I Am My Hair

I have become a slave to my hair. I have always been the dark girl with the long, thick hair. I hate to admit it, but i allowed that description to become part of my identity.

How I feel is not based on the clothes that I wear or the things that I accomplish. It is based on my hair. If I don't like my hair, nothing is right. I feel self-conscious, I have a bad attitude and I snap on my husband.  I am tired of this, but I don't know what to do. I want to take control. I want to take back my hair. 

I've been going to salons since I was five-years-old. My childhood hairstylist was like another aunt. I still consider her an important part of my family. As I got older and moved away, I always said I wanted to do my own hair. But, everyone told me I couldn't. They told me my hair was too thick and too difficult. The one time I tried it, things went horribly wrong. Sooo, I figured they were right. 

But at this point, I've hit rock bottom. I'm tired of paying people to do my hair and being dissatisfied. I'd rather waste money messing it up myself, than giving it to them. 

Each time I get the courage to do it myself, I psyche myself out. I don't like failure and I know the first six months will be a series of failures. Ugh! However, I think I've reached a breaking point. My hair is thinning around the hairline and I'm not feeling that at all. 

I feel like my new stylist is so limited that she can't help me with styles that will take me away from wrapping my hair. I've started to look online for alternatives and I think I've found some, but I'm scared.  

Most people don't realize that I don't do much to my hair in between my trips to the stylist. I just wrap it every night. I don't  have lots of hair accessories or shampoos and I don't play with my hair much.  I was taught to comb my hair in the morning and leave it alone. I was never the type to style all day long, unless I had a ponytail. I like my ponytails neat. If something gets out of place, I'm smoothing it down. It may be a Chicago thing. Lol!

At the age of 30, I have to give this an honest try. My first attempt will likely be with something called a braid-out. I'll go for the wavy look. I've learned that it failed before because I didn't have the proper products. I think i'm ready this time. 

I don't want to be a slave to my hair anymore. If my man wants to have some water fun, I don't want to say no just because I don't know how to deal with my hair. 

I'm taking back the power. PERIOD. I want my hair to last as long as my life, but I don't want to resent it. I want to love it. 

Oprah's Surprise, My Spectacular

I just witnessed the most AMAZING moment ever: Oprah's Surprise Spectacular. I entered the United Center not expecting much. My seats were on level 300 and I knew we weren't winning a dream vacay because 20,000 people were supposed to be in attendance. 

BUT THEN THE SHOW began. A little girl with the most spectacular voice sang, followed by Josh Groban and then...I HEARD PATTI. The legend, Patti LaBelle, came out belting, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Her voice was as crisp and powerful as it was decades ago when I was a child.  And then she did IT--Patti kicked off her high heels as she hit a high note. It's her signature move and it was amazing to witness it live and in person. I nearly jumped down three levels to the stage. If you've ever been inside the United Center, you know that's quite the leap. I thought to myself, "that was worth waiting for outside in the hawk (also known as Chicago's biting wind)."

That's right, we spent about an hour outside the United Center waiting for the doors to open, even though we had tickets. I wanted to feel and see every moment...even if they were cold moments that messed up my hair and darn near froze off my teeth (yes, I was smiling that hard).

Thoughts about outside had all but faded when Madonna appeared on stage. Madonna! I was in the same building as Madonna. I turned to my mother to tell her that, "WE WERE IN THE SAME BUILDING AS MADONNA." I don't know why I had this reaction. I like Madonna, but I never wanted to see her in concert or meet her. Anyway, I loved her salute to Oprah and the way Madonna managed to address the controversy surrounding her own attempt to build a school for girls in Malawi. She basically said her efforts have been thrown off track, but because of Oprah, she would not give up. 

No, Madonna did not perform, BUT BEYONCE DID. I don't care for her new song, but I loved the message and BEYONCE'S PERFORMANCE (of which she did two versions) was awesome. Beyonce didn't speak to the crowd outside of her routine, but she wasn't there for us.  She was there for Oprah...and to promote her new single. 

BUT the fun kept rolling. The crew played some of Oprah's funniest moments, Rascal Flatts performed and more celebrities thanked Oprah for all she'd done (Queen Latifah, Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Halle Berry). I really didn't know how they were going to do a second show, when the first one was so great. 

THEN WILL SMITH CAME OUT with his wife. I lost it. I can't even remember things in order. I just know Jaimie Foxx followed and started singing, "Isn't She Lovely." Before he could finish STEVIE WONDER TOOK OVER. 

By this point I am jumping up and down, hugging my momma and texting my joy to my husband. Stevie took a song he'd written for his mother and changed the lyrics for Oprah. Tell me you don't think that's awesome? Stevie Wonder wrote a song for her and THAT WASN'T EVEN THE BEST PART OF HER NIGHT!! (I'm writing in caps to convey my excitement). 

Next thing I knew, Michael Jordan was on the stage and I started to cry. I was in level 300...as far as you can get from Oprah and Michael, but I was crying. The two heroes of my childhood were in the same building with ME. I am a Chicago native and no two people were bigger in the 90s for a young black girl (today we have the Obamas). 

Things got even better. The one and only Maya Angelou took the stage and read a poem she penned for Oprah, while Alicia Keys played the instrumental of "Superwoman." OMG!!! MAYA WROTE A POEM JUST FOR OPRAH. Wow!

Again, I am remembering things out of order because I was having an out of body experience. During all of that, Gayle King walked on stage with MARIA SHRIVER. Let's take a minute to think about this: on the day that the media was going nuts with news that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a love-child, Maria was in Chicago kickin' it with her homies. TALK ABOUT STRENGTH. She was not broken. In fact, when she thanked Oprah for always telling the "truth," the crowd erupted in cheers. It was our way of showing her we appreciated her courage (or at least it was for me). 

So let's get on with the show. We were so pumped up, but Gayle's mic wasn't working properly. As the crew gave her a new one, Oprah patted Gayle's forehead with a napkin. In her typical "girlfriend fashion" Gayle said something like...I am having a hot flash at the wrong time. I laughed so hard. I love Gayle about as much as I love Oprah. 

As if the night couldn't get better, Stedman took the stage. Even Oprah was stunned, but what really stunned us was when he introduced the QUEEN OF SOUL. Aretha sang, "Amazing Grace" and I can't put into words how fantastic it was. I finally had to open one of the boxes of tissue Harpo placed at the end of each row. That woman's voice was flawless and evoked both happiness and sadness. I thought of my grandmother's funeral and at the same time, the joy of standing with my mother and witnessing this magical moment. 

As great as all of the performances were, what really moved me was Oprah's philanthropy. We all know about it, but we saw it in a different way on this night.  Oprah put some 400 men through college at Morehouse. It's something Oprah doesn't talk about, nor the media. But hundreds of those men were in attendance at the United Center. They each carried a light, walked the aisles and filled the stage. It was beautiful and I cried. I cried at the beauty of all of those educated black men and I cried at the wonder of how ONE WOMAN could impact so many people in such a good way (crap! I'm tearing up right now thinking about it). 

I was truly honored to be part of the night. I didn't get to meet Oprah and she didn't give me a car, but she gave me something far more valuable-- an AMAZING night with my mother. OPRAH, thank you for inspiring me as a child. I didn't get to work on your show, but I'm in TV news and I wouldn't be without seeing you. You'll never shake my hand, but my mother and I got to see three legends (Patti, Aretha and Stevie) perform together because of you. Wow!!

Oh, did I mention Target is building 25 libraries across the country in her honor and planting thousands of Oak trees in her name? Triple Wow!!! 

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the great performances by Usher, Jerry Seinfeld and Rosie O'Donnell (she did a musical number introducing the stars of OWN).  They were amazing as well. 

All and all Oprah's Spectacular Surprise was fantastic!